A song for Good Friday
Listen to "What Have I Done," a song for Good Friday
Good Friday is the day we can't look away. We feel the distance we try to put between ourselves and God; it's a chasm we fill with fear instead of love. Before we find faith on Easter Sunday, we have to accept our defeat on Good Friday. If God's dream is our closeness, this is when we begin to peel away our layers of blindness. I think of it as the remolding of a vessel or a field scorched for new growth. To feel the depths of joy and strength of true love, we have to find faith in our pain, otherwise we will just stay burned and broken. If you are attending a church service for Good Friday, the sanctuary is laid bare: crosses are covered, altars are empty. We say this call and response chant called the Reproaches that retraces the steps of our sorrow, defeat and rejection of God throughout history, meditating on the Cross and asking for mercy. The song is a recasting of the Reproaches, inspired by Janet Morley's beautiful modern retelling, included below. I'm sending this a day early because you'll get an evensong service tomorrow. Until then! - Allie
What Have I Done
The water, the manna, the pillar of cloud
Out of the desert we're lost and found
A land of plenty, a royal crown
For all that You've done for me
What have I done to You
My power, my privilege, my comfort, my self
I turn my face I can't look at the guilt
I'm laying waste to the beauty You've built
For all that You've done for me
What have I done to You
When they put the nails in the cross
I just stood there and watched
I'm so afraid of the world that You want
I chose the way of the cross
For all that You've done for me
What have I done to You
Music and lyrics by Allie Levanway and Meg Settle
Mixed by Meg Settle
Mastered by Edsel Holden
Piano, vocals by Allie Levanway
Bass, strings, mandolin, drums, electric guitar by John Mark PainterThe Reproaches by Janet Morley from All Desires Known Holy God, Holy and strange, Holy and intimate, have mercy on us O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I brooded over the abyss, With my words I called forth creation: But you have brooded on destruction, And manufactured the means of chaos. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I breathed life into your bodies, And carried you tenderly in my arms: But you have armed yourselves for war, Breathing out threats of violence. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I made the desert blossom before you, I fed you with an open hand: But you have grasped the children’s food, And laid waste the fertile lands. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I abandoned my power like a garment, Choosing your unprotected flesh: But you have robed yourselves in privilege, And chosen to despise the abandoned. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. Holy God, Holy and strange, Holy and intimate, Have mercy on us. I would have gathered you to me as a lover, And shown you the ways of peace: But you have desired security, And you would not surrender your self. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I have torn the veil of my glory, Transfiguring the earth: But you have transfigured my beauty, And turned away your face. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I have labored to deliver you, as a woman delights to give life: But you have delighted in bloodshed, And labored to bereave the world. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. I have followed you with the power of my spirit, To seek truth and heal the oppressed: But you have been following a lie, And returned to your own comfort. O my people, what have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me. Holy God, Holy and strange, Holy and intimate, Have mercy on us.
A little housekeeping: I’ve decided to not release the Holy Week songs on streaming platforms in hopes of expanding it for next year to include more. But if you’d like to share this with someone, please do so.